


Nightmare Fuel

by Starkvenger



Series: Half-Life VR But The AI Have Fanfiction [4]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI are Self-Aware
Genre: Blood and Gore, Bonding, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gore, Hot Chocolate, Hurt/Comfort, It's Bubby After All, Late Night Conversations, Nightmares, Not Beta Read We Die Like Coomer Clones, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26715280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkvenger/pseuds/Starkvenger
Summary: Gordon has a nightmare- Bubby of all people is there to console him.
Relationships: Bubby & Gordon Freeman, Gordan Freeman & The Science Team
Series: Half-Life VR But The AI Have Fanfiction [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892632
Comments: 10
Kudos: 104





	Nightmare Fuel

\- - -

The strings in his chest were pulled taut as he ran, turning a corner and nearly slipping on the smooth tile in the process. He kept running, adrenaline pushing him forward even as he legs screamed at him to stop, to just give in.

His breath was heavy and ragged as he turned another corner, shoes sliding across the tile and slamming his shoulder into the wall before forcing himself to keep moving. He managed to maneuver around some rubble, tearing his worn sweater in the process, before taking off again.

He risked a glance over his shoulder, finding the suffocating darkness encroaching on him ever faster. He heard an echoing, maniacal cackle that sent shudders down his spine and kept running, trying desperately to go faster. He had to get out, had to get away, had to find a place to hide—

He found himself slipping, sending him barreling to the floor and into a puddle. He tried to lift himself up, his arms aching in protest as he trembled. A glance down and he found himself laying in a dark pool of blood, the sticky moisture slinging to his hands and sweater, seeping into the threads and causing it to stick to his body.

Gordon shook his head, swallowing thickly as his throat tightened, silencing him as he scrambled back and away from the mess, streaking the crimson substance across the floor.

He bumped into something solid and cold, his back pressing against the stiff object behind him. He risked a glance up, slowly lifting his head as terror gripped his heart and pulled.

Glowing yellow eyes peered back at him, hundreds of them, staring, watching him with intrigue and malice. Gordon felt his skin grow cold as the eyes began to multiply. He tried to move, reaching a hand out to pull himself up, only for a dark, shadowy tendril to shoot out of the darkness and wrap itself around his wrist.

“N-o- no-“ he choked out, despite the agony in his throat making his voice scratchy and broken. He pulled against the tendril, only for its grip to tighten and for another to shoot out and grab his other arm. He glanced towards it- his hand was gone. The minigun was back, his arm was aching, blood was pooling around him and the _gun wouldn’t shoot-_

Gordon struggled, even as something clasped its claws around his throat and dug into his skin. He felt the icy chill break through his muscles and seep into his bones, causing him to let out a gasp of air, the heat spiraling upward as the temperature around him dropped.

He wanted to cry, to scream, to fight back- but whatever this thing was held him tightly. It sunk its claws deeper into his throat, making him gag and couch against the pressure. Another clawed and reached out towards him and he tried to shy away, only for the eyes to surround him and the cackle to echo out once more.

The claws plunged into his chest swiftly, and the creature disregarded the sound of crunching bones and the squelching of tissue and muscle, blood and sinew being ripped apart. It gripped his heart tightly, and a slow, yellowed, fang-tooth smile crept upward. It was like the Cheshire Cat, stretching into the darkness and curling in on itself as the eyes stared at him.

Another cackle. Gordon was barely conscious, even as the fear gripped him and tore at his insides. The thing squeezed his heart, sinking itself claws into the soft tissue as the smile opened to speak.

**“You forced me to be bad….now I gotta be _bad_.” **

\- - -

Gordon woke with a jolt, gasping for air as he shot up in bed, his left hand grasping at his throat as his stump went to his chest. His heart was thundering in his chest as Gordon felt tears spring to his eyes, his breath shaky and quick as he glanced around the dark room.

Joshua’s cradle was in the corner of the room, the space-themed nightlight beside his bed still twinkling brightly, the rocket ship mobile spinning lazily above him as the toddler slept. He ignored the urge to get up and check on the boy- he was fine, it was just a nightmare, he told himself, even as the fear of it all still gripped him tightly.

Gordon brought his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly as he tried to sort out his panicked, blurry thoughts. He needed to move- his body was full of adrenaline, and he needed to do something without waking Joshua up.

He slid his legs over the edge of the bed, flinching when his foot touched the cold metal of the wastebasket he kept near his bed. He pushed past it, sliding on his slippers and standing up. It took him a moment to ground himself, the room spinning ever so slightly as Gordon did his damndest to leave the bedroom quietly and not have a breakdown in front of his kid.

He closed the old door behind him softly, letting out a shaky breath as he started down the stairs. The house creaked, and Gordon flinched, his grip tightening on the handrail as he tried to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest. He wanted to cry- the fear that still had its claws latched onto him told him to run and to hide, to shut his eyes and maybe, just maybe, he might survive—

The young man ended up tripping over his own feet, sending him tumbling forward down the last two steps and crashing into the wooden floor below. He winced from his new place against the floorboards, his right arm flaring in pain as he pushed himself up.

A sudden growl had him scrambling to his feet and pressing his back against the wall.

Gordon could feel his heartbeat quicken as his breathing got short, fear clutching him even tighter as he shut his eyes against the sound. He tried to move away from it blindly, grappling at the wall until he felt a door handle.

He turned it, pulled the door open, and slid outside, away from the growling and the darkness and the suffocating fear of the house. He opened his eyes, blinking hard at the countryside around him.

He’d moved out here a while back at this point… wanting to give Joshua the chance to grow up with room to explore and adventure on his own and Gordon not have to worry about his safety as much as in the city. Tall grass surrounded the house, blowing wistfully in the wind as the stars overhead shined brightly.

It was almost serene. Gordon glanced back towards the back entrance to the house uneasily, hugging himself tightly as he sat down on the edge of the porch. He lowered his head and rested it on his knees, trying to calm himself down and not cry his eyes out. He really needed to see a therapist, but… how could he?

No one was going to believe him if he told them he was sucked into a video game that actually allowed him to feel pain, and in addition to that, got his arm cut off from said video game. He couldn’t tell anyone about the nightmares, the nights spent staring at the ceiling with Benry’s mechanical cackle echoing in his ears, the fear he still felt around someone saying “Hello, Gordon” to him, the queasy feeling he got in his gut at the sound of gunshots.

Gordon hugged himself tighter- or, as tighter as he could since he’d forgotten to put on his prosthetic when he’d woken up.

A sudden hand on his shoulder had him flinching, turning on a dime and glancing upward in fear. He blinked at the sight of Bubby standing behind him, two steaming mugs in his hands and his glasses sitting on his forehead. He held one out for the younger man, watching him expectantly.

Gordon accepted it gingerly, taking the mug and bringing it close to his chest. It was warm, unlike the night air, something Gordon only just realized as the steam curled up from the drink.

Bubby sat down beside him without a word, taking a sip of his own mug and looking out at the tall grass as the wind blew through it and caused it to dance.

"Did...did I wake you up...?" Gordon asked after a moment, guilt already encroaching upon his mind as Bubby took another lazy sip from his mug. He raised an eyebrow towards the younger man, gripping his mug with both hands as he lowered it from his lips. 

"Drink your cocoa."

Gordon blinked, glancing down towards his mug and swallowing thickly. He wasn't even aware that there was cocoa in the house. He took a sip, allowing himself to revel in the warm liquid that slid down his throat and letting out a long, shaky breath in response. Bubby was watching him now- his glasses were still on the top of his head, so his eyes were squinting ever so slightly, but he seemed to be looking for something in Gordon's face.

He must have found whatever he was looking for, cause he shook his head and looked back out towards the tall grass. He grabbed the glasses off his head and put them over his eyes with a sigh, leaning back against one arm as he took another sip of his drink. 

"I was already awake," he said after a moment, causing Gordon to look up at him. "You walked right past me in your fear-riddled haze," he continued, glancing down at the liquid in his mug. he swirled it in his hand, sighing softly as he glanced up towards the stars. 

"There...there was a growl-"

"Benry's snoring on the couch."

Gordon blinked, glancing back towards the house in thought. The sound...it _had_ been a snore, hadn't it. How had he confused that for a growl? His grip tightened on his mug and Bubby sighed, his gaze still glued to the sky.

"What was it about?"

"Huh?"

"Your nightmare, dumbass."

Gordon furrowed his brow, glancing towards the older man. "How did you-"

"Gordon, subtlety is _not_ your specialty. Flinching at shadows and running from a snore obviously means you just woke up from a nightmare of _some_ kind. So spill. What was it about?" he asked before taking a lazy swig from his mug. 

"I..." Gordon trailed off, bringing his arm up to rub absently at the back of his neck. He sighed, dropping his head and shaking it. "I was back there. In Black Mesa. I was alone...and everything was dark," he said, gripping his mug tighter as he dropped his stump from his neck. Tension tightened in his shoulders as he spoke, his mind wandering to the dark, long corridors covered in blood.

"It... everything was wrong... more wrong than it was the first time..." he swallowed thickly. "I was being chased by...I can only assume it was Benry cause of the laugh... but I could feel you guys after me too."

He took a swig of his drink, glancing up towards the stars and trying not to break down just thinking about it. "All that was running through my head was 'why?' and I- I- I couldn't figure it out why you guys would be against me again, or what I did wrong or-"

A firm, steady hand gripped his shoulder, snapping him out of the spiral he'd started down. He realized he was hyperventilating. "Inhale for six seconds," Bubby said, his gaze level with the younger man. Gordon did as he was told. "Hold it for two." He followed. "Exhale for six seconds." Again, he followed.

Bubby dropped his hand as Gordon repeated this, his breathing slowly coming back down to normal. He glanced down at his cup, trembling as he stared at the warm, brown liquid. Bubby's gaze had moved back to the sky. Gordon followed his lead.

Part of the reason why he'd moved out here in the first place, aside from Joshua, was because of the stars. He'd grown up always being able to see them, the endless expanse of galaxies and nebulas looming overhead- he'd missed that while living in the city. 

Gordon stared up at them quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he searched for constellations to keep his mind busy.

"Gordon..." Bubby said after a moment, his eyes dropping from the sky to stare out at the grass that surrounded them. "You're not the only one with nightmares, you know... no one left that place unscathed." he took another sip of his drink. "We're in the same goddamn boat tonight, it seems... I couldn't sleep myself because of one."

Gordon wanted to console the older man but fought the urge to do so.

"I..." he swallowed thickly. "I know that the game fucked you up," he said, grip tightening ever so slightly on his mug. "And I know that I...played a part in that."

The younger man glanced towards him.

"I see myself as the villain often... alone in that damn tube, angry at the world around me because of how it's treated me. I had to become this- this angry, sharp person to bite back at the world that had already bitten me so many times."

Gordon blinked.

"What I'm trying to say is that I took it out on you. I saw you as a threat, someone that was just getting in the way and impeding our progress with those trackers in your suit..." Bubby glanced back up at the sky, setting his mug down on the old wood beside him. 

"Never thought I'd come to understand you...much less _like_ you," he said with a sharp-toothed grin, glancing towards Gordon and bumping him gently with his shoulder. He dropped his gaze, letting out a sigh as the wind picked up and blew through the pair's hair. 

"I never expected you to work so hard to get us out of there. Never would've guessed that you'd do something like that for us...especially after everything we did to you." Bubby reached a hand up to rub at his eyes, pushing his glasses up slightly in the process.

"I can tell you this though," he continued, straightening his glasses and looking Gordon in the eyes. "Something like that will never happen again. I'll see to it personally," he said, glancing up towards the stars. "This place might be ...a lot... but I swear Gordon, no one's gonna get your ass with us around. We've got your back."

"We owe you."

"Bubby..."

"As for your nightmares- well I'm up most nights anyway. If I see you ill make you a drink," he said offhandedly, standing up with a grunt and grabbing his mug in the process. He held out his hand for Gordon to take, helping the man to stand on the edge of the porch.

"Harold might even join us, who knows. The old man likes to fret over me half the time anyway."

Gordon grinned. "You say that like you're not _also_ an old man."

"I'm in my prime, you shut your whore mouth."

"Sure," Gordon replied with a chuckle, shaking his head at the AI. He looked away from Bubby to glance back out at the land that surrounded them. The old house he'd bought was filled with life- it was loud and crazy and chaotic and messy- but it was home. He was safe here, his _son_ was safe here.

He sighed, a smile gracing his face. "Thanks, Bubby," he said, glancing towards the old man as he finished off his cocoa. Bubby raised an eyebrow towards him, his eyes softening ever so slightly. 

"Yeah...sure. Just keep your mouth shut about it. Don't need the others thinking I'm soft."

Gordon chuckled. "Of course."

"C'mon. We best get inside. Sun's gonna come up soon and if Harold catches us out here he's going to mother us to death."

Bubby wrapped an arm around the younger man, bringing him into a side hug. "I'm serious, Gordon. We've got your back through thick and thin."

Gordon smiled widely, pulling the older man into a full hug, despite his protest.

"I know."

\- - -

**Author's Note:**

> Benry in the background, having just woken up: "Heh, gay."


End file.
